Typically Queer

Rifling through the GLBT personal ads in the Sunday broadsheets I think to myself of how someone looking at me through their own prism would choose to describe moi for you. It would be something along these lines : an atypical gay of low to borderline homosexual potential; height/weight proportionate, n/drugs (free of drugs) with a GSOH is on the look out for a LTR with a tall, dark and handsome dude (white boys no issues). Seriously, I am not having a laugh here! The word “atypical” used to describe “gayness” and “gayness” itself don’t fall in line since essentially, all of gayness is/was regarded as atypical last I noticed so you might ask yourself how much more atypical can it get? If you ask me “Queerly Queer” is just about how I would choose to describe myself in a nutshell. Can this idea of “ queer queerness” work much less can it sell with today’s youth? I have my doubts. People everywhere resent change even if that means far fewer encumbrances to them and others like them. Even so, the terminology – Queerly Queer, did not I think come out of the woodwork, as it were. Some things by their very nature are neither, here nor there – they never have been; always in a state of suspended animation that they remain, and so it is with human bunking preferences.
I identify myself more with the not so gay community than I do with say, the Soho Gay brigade. Guess, I am being a slur to the pink cause or at least, to what others make of it anyway. True, a certain prince from the Marwar and dudes from the TV soap – “Fashion House” and Spanish and Turkish telenovellas send me heart in atrial flutter every now and again,which more or less rubberstamps me as gay, nevertheless; there’s this long and growing list of things I cannot relate to that comes with the territory of falling for other men. All that bling and some more of it – obsession with the color pink – fascination for men’s derrières and above all, dressing up for the Gay Pride as if it were some kind of a do-or-die event, quite frankly, gets my goat. Equally, I find absurd the rite of passage for the culmination of gay love i.e. the assigning of active and passive partnership roles to gay lovers . Definitely, not my kind of thing to the extent that I detest genital contact with any living form : man or woman or anything in between. Oral sex and tactile contact read caressing is fine by me but anything abrasive and invasive won’t do, if you catch the general drift of my insinuation. I’ve always maintained “minimally invasive” is the way to go. However, I worry all the time that such queer behavior and thought processes, even by queer standards will get me nowhere because of a muddying of the waters, so to speak but I’d still rather hang in there waiting for my prince charming à la Marwar to turn up than having to compromise on my standard and principles of same sex bodily exchange of fluid . Que sera sera… what will be will be; the future’s not ours to see, que sera sera.
That having said, the bait is already thrown (has been for some time now) while I continue angling and ogling at dirty pretty things who may think and feel the same way I do. It’s not a lost case as yet, you see, for I am still young and open to bending a teensy weensy bit for what it’s worth : after all something’s gotta give. Mind it just because someone prefers dudes to dudettes doesn’t mean they can or should flip for any Tom, Dick or Ari they come across. In that light, sturdy heterosexual fellas rock my socks even more than most garden variety homos do. Sorry, you guys.
And finally, to put a cap to this whole shebang - this is the last and final call : “Calling on all 'body and mind beautiful' gents with a penchant for leather jackets and the finer things in Life to please pass me your number while you can along with a recent mug shot in order to apply for a life time of engaging conversations spent breaking bread; a goblet of the finest Chilean red in hand and hours of passionate love making on weekend afternoons without the Ex, err…Sex and much much more, or your money back.
Amen.